


Programming For Huge Dorks

by Aewin



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Computer Programming, Cunnilingus, Established Relationship, Frottage, Gender Dysphoria, M/M, Post-Sburb/Sgrub, Trans John, Xeno, bluh bluh huge dorks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-21
Updated: 2014-04-21
Packaged: 2018-01-20 06:10:22
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,256
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1499591
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aewin/pseuds/Aewin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>John wants to learn about loops in Alternian programming.<br/>Sollux is lounging around in his boxers, being distracting.<br/>John can't focus. Sollux distracts him more. </p><p>Somehow, John still manages to learn about loops.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Programming For Huge Dorks

**Author's Note:**

  * For [mustachioedoctopus](https://archiveofourown.org/users/mustachioedoctopus/gifts).



> A treat for mustachioedoctopus, who provided the following prompt. I couldn't resist doing a ficlet for it! (It said any rating, so I hope a helping of porn is okay!)
> 
> John/Sollux. Something about them being roommates who are jerks and kiss a bunch, or maybe Sollux helping John out with programming, either of those could be like a post canon scenario, or a complete AU. I am honestly down for pretty much anything with this pairing, so you can do something totally unrelated to that if you wanted, the only thing I really want is for it to be redrom. Trans John is my headcanon so if you feel comfortable doing that it would be sweet!  
> Important note: John and Sollux are in an established relationship here and have already worked out boundaries. Every transgender person has a different level of comfort with their body, so don't assume that every trans person is comfortable doing the same things that John is here. Communication and boundaries are important in any relationship, but they're especially important if you have a trans partner.

“Loops are so fucking basic, John. I thought you said you studied programming back on earth?”

Your matesprit shifts in embarrassment and mutters under his breath. “Yeah, but that was with Earth’s coding languages. The syntax is different, and—well, okay, really it’s not that different, it’s just—I can’t really focus when you’re just lounging around in your boxers like this, Sollux! Nobody could! Not when they know you have those weird alien wriggly things under there!”

You snicker under your breath and smirk at him. “Look, Egbert. You know from _experience_ that you can tell if they’re out, and don’t even pretend you don’t like them. What was it you said last time I fucked your deliciously plush ass? Something about _oh, Sollux, you’re such a sex god, fuck me harder!_ ”

Red rises in John’s cheeks, and a horrible idea rises to the top of your thinkpan.

Fuck yes. You are the master of programming, and if anyone can get this kid to focus on a loop, it’s you. Before John even has a chance to respond to your comment, you push him back on the bed and straddle him, running a finger down his nearly-flat chest. He doesn’t like it when you touch his rumble spheres, so you’re careful to keep your finger in the middle as you trace a path to his stomach.

“See!? I knew this was gonna happen! I’m _never_ going to be able to focus on loops.” His voice is shrill with faux accusation, but he smiles at you as you lean down and nip at his lip.

“I’d like to contest that ridiculously asinine comment of yours. In fact, I am going to teach you _all. about. loops._ ”

He grins his goofy-ass grin and inelegantly sucks face with you when you move in to kiss him. You spend a moment avoiding as much saliva as you can and warming him up, tracing down his stomach and grinding against him before you unbutton his jeans and slip your hand in his pants.

“Okay, so let’s say you have an arousal meter or some shit. Your current arousal is stored as an integer. Once it reaches a hundred, you have an Alternia-shaking orgasm, okay?” John nods at you, and you notice that his face and neck are covered in a light sheen of sweat. “Well, right now it’s at zero.”

“More like twenty. You are the _best_ kisser, Sollux. It is you.”

“Damn straight I am. Fine, then. It’s at twenty.” You trail your fingers through the bush of hair until you find the very top of John’s nook lips, and poke gently inside until you land on his tiny bulge. It’s nothing at all like your own bulges, but he assures you it’s the human equivalent, and rubbing at it tends to prompt noises that back up his claim. You hover over the nub as you figure out how to phrase this so he’ll learn from it.

“So we start the loop now then. Whenever arousal is less than 100, I’m going to touch you, okay?” You press your thumb gently against his nubby bulge, and he makes an adorable little _nn_ sound and bucks his hips. “Eheheh. That right there? That sexy little dance you just did for me? I do believe that’s a sign that your arousal just went up.”

“Yes. Yes, we are very much at a higher arousal, keep _going_ , Sollux—”

“Okay. I’m going to run the loop again.” You rub him, and he wriggles under you.

“Oh my god, you infuriating _nerd_.”

“You love it.”

John bites his lower lip with those cute-ass hopbeast teeth and nods agreement with a desperate look in his eyes, and you take mercy.

“I’m going to run the loop a _lot_ of times now, okay? Until arousal hits 100. Because that means the loop’s done, and we go on with the program.”

You keep up a steady rhythm of grinding your thumb in little circles against his pleasure nub while you plant kisses on his stomach, suck on his hipbones, and move back up for lazy kisses. You rub him a lot more than the loop would actually require to finish, but you're a little beyond caring at this point. You're on a _mission_ now. You flick your thumb back and forth over John's nub until his breath comes shallowly, like he’s been running a race, and you can’t help but tease him a little.

“You know, for the heir of breath, you seem to be struggling for it quite a bit.”

“That's because my stupid boyfriend is making me waste it talking to him instead of getting me to come!”

You roll your eyes. “Well, what else can I do to help, oh waster of breath?”

“Maybe, um. You could eaut—?” He trails off in a mumble.

“What?”

“Eat me out, you huge dweeb!” He almost yells it, and then he seems shocked, like he can’t believe he said it. You’re a little surprised too, since it’s something you’ve only done for him once or twice. Humans are stupidly sexually dimorphic and some error in the code of his original universe put him in the wrong body, so he’s sensitive about certain body parts and you only get to put your face in his nook when he’s _really, really_ turned on. (And fuck, you’d like to ruin that programmer’s day for all the trouble they've caused your boyfriend.) But you are most definitely not complaining about the request, because John is your favorite flavor.

You scramble to pull his pants and boxers the rest of the way down, and within 10 seconds he’s writhing on the edge of the sleeping platform with his thighs over your shoulders and your face in his nook. You pay the most attention to his bulge, because you know that’s what drives him mad, but you spare an occasional lick for the lower lips of his nook, winding your forked tongue through the folds and savoring the way he twitches on the sleeping platform. Your rumble spheres are getting slightly crushed by the position and it’s hard to breathe like this but you’d happily drown in John if it meant he’d keep making those little moans and whimpers for you.

“Fuck—I’m almost there, Sollux, _please_ , _please, higher up_ —”

You slide the fork of your tongue around his bulge/nub/clit/dick/ _whatever_ , you’re beyond caring what it’s called, and lap at it in solid, even strokes. His hands fist in the sheets and you can feel him quivering at the precipice, so you ignore the ache in your jaw and admonish yourself to _keep going;_ you push past the burn and give him every ounce of your enthusiasm until his nook flutters around you unevenly and the tension drains from the arch in his back and he pulls his thighs from your shoulders and collapses in a weary heap on the sheets.

He pats the spot beside him and pulls you in for a kiss despite the fact that your chin is still wet with his nook juices. It’s cuddly enough that you think you’re going to wind up falling asleep with him (which, you’re not gonna lie, you’re pretty tired and that would be all kinds of nice) for a moment, but you’re jolted out of half-sleep when John flips you over and pins you under him.

“And what the fuck, pray tell, do you think you’re doing?”

He slips a hand into your boxers with a grin.

“Practicing loops.”

**Author's Note:**

> do {  
>      stroke(JohnEgbert);  
>      arousal++;  
> } while (arousal < 100);
> 
> The link to this fic is [here](http://solluxisms.tumblr.com/post/85497662505/programming-for-huge-dorks-1256-words-by-aewin-ao3) on tumblr. Other pages of my blog may include sopping-wet alien bulges and helmsmen. Browse at your own risk.


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